A Difference

One year ago, I remember sitting on my bed and writing my very first blog post. I wrote it, erased it, rewrote, edited it (poorly), cried, edited it some more. I hovered my thumb over the post button for a minute, unsure if I wanted to invite you all into his incredibly intense reality we were about to face.  

One year ago, I was pregnant. I was hopeful, but terrified. I was prepared for the worst. I was [sort of] prepared to roll with the punches. I was [sort of but not really] prepared to see a very sick infant enter the world. I was [sort of but in no way] prepared to welcome and say goodbye to my son in whatever time frame God had planned for us. 

One year ago, life was a little simpler. We were a family of 3.. A mother, father and 1 healthy little girl. Our worries were much simpler. Diaper rashes and runny noses.. Eating enough vegetables. We didn't worry about oxygen saturation levels or open heart surgeries. We never worried about insurance covering anything or astronomical hospital bills pouring in. We didn't have Jack.

One year ago, our family wasn't complete. 

Amazing-- what a difference a year can make. 

From our gender reveal party.. the day after we found out he was very sick. We decided he deserved to be celebrated regardless of what was going to happen. 

21 weeks pregnant

One of my favorite ultrasound pictures. Looks like he's blowing bubbles. October 1st 2014.

Ultrasound, December 10th, 2014.