The greatest 1 week birthday gift...

...is a long awaited home coming!!!!!

Welcome home, baby Jack! And happy 1 week birthday buddy! Jeremy and I are so happy to have our whole family under 1 roof. We know it's going to be a long road ahead, but this is a big milestone for us. We thought we wouldn't have him home for another 2 or 3 weeks! His strength is amazing. It's amazed the doctors, nurses and our whole family. We know he will continue to amaze us.. every day!

He has a cardiologist appointment in 2 weeks at Children's and I am working on making an appointment with his pediatrician here in Peabody for either tomorrow or Friday. Other than that, we will be hanging here at home... together. <3

In the car, heading home! (thanks Auntie Angie for the moose car seat cover!)

A very happy Daddy

A very happy Daddy and Mama!

Shall getting really acquainted with her brother.

Shall doing what she does best.. invading personal space!!!

Snuggle bug

He's pretty excited for the super bowl (Thank you, MaryBeth for the football hat and booties!)

Sibling love

Hi baby Jack!

Sneaking a peek.

Taking a really close look.

"I wanna hold it?"

All the babies <3

A very happy Grandrea!

Already hugging and loving his Grandrea <3 I love this one.

Greetings, from Aruba!

...just kidding. Jack and I are snowed in at Children's. We did however get to take a stroll and venture out off of the 8th floor. We went down to the lobby and got a coffee, checked out the fish tank, Seacrest Studios and the gift shop windows (it was closed).  After making lots of friends and getting lots of comments about how handsome he is, we came back up to nurse and settle back in.

We facetimed with Daddy and he was WIDE awake. I think he loved it, because he was just staring at Jeremy the whole time-- it was easily my favorite part of the day!

Today we spent the day eating and pumping and getting weighed. He needs to show he can gain weight before we leave. Which is a little confusing.. because the way they determine if the lasiks is working and getting rid of fluid is by him losing weight. They just want him to be above his birth weight, and he is at the moment. So hopefully he continues to be a champion eater. His nurse told me that the fact he is can suck and swallow and go between the breast and bottle so easily is amazing-- there are cardiac kids that go months not being able to do what he does. So tonite, his fantastic night nurse Lauren (he just adores her and she him) is going to give him bottles to make sure he is taking in enough so we can keep up his super star feeding status.

Please keep your fingers, toes and eyes crossed that tomorrow's the day we get to go home!!! We are SO ready. And we need to get ready for our big super bowl party!!!!! :) :) He is ready to get dressed up in his patriots gear and watch Tom & company bring us home that Lombardi trophy!!!!!

xo Marissa

and now.... some pics for your viewing pleasure

Big Rich

Despite my Dad not physically being here to support us and to meet Jack, he certainly knows how to make his presence felt.

After my mom and Jeremy left with Evie and after a visit from cardiology and hearing the word Thursday casually snuck into our conversation, i was feeling particularly alone... and quite frankly a little depressed. Here I am, just gave birth not even a week ago, fighting the baby blues, alone in a hospital for what feels like forever with a very sick newborn.. and another night is possibly being attached to our sentence here? After a couple nights it starts to feel like a prison. I was really upset. Tears just streaming down my face, I begin to text Jeremy.. and i asked him to just text once in a while and send picture so I feel less alone. As I hit send, Elvis' Cant Help Falling in Love comes on Pandoras Lullaby station. I could almost hear my dad singing along.. off key. It made me laugh.. and i knew he was with me in the moment i really needed someone i love to comfort me.

I had an episode of the Long Island Medium on in the background yesterday while here with Jack.. and she did a reading for a woman who lost her husband and her daughter had just had a son. Theresa said the grandfather held the baby before he was born. I know many people don't believe in mediums and the afterlife and thats ok... but that small thought, that image of my father holding his grandsons soul in heaven before he arrived here on earth just fills me with faith and comfort. I'm thankful to have the faith in my heart that I do. It gives me peace in the most unsettling times.

Papa holding Evie on her first Christmas Eve

Proudest Papa and Evie at Salem Willows

One of my all time favorites

And the verdict is...

...Jack goes home Wednesday (possibly Thursday depending on the safety on the roads).

If it wasn't for the snow storm, they would've had no problem sending him home today. Since he is here, safe and has no threat of losing power or heat, the cardiology team decided that discharging him Wednesday would be the safest option. Jeremy said it's really a blessing, because we were anticipation a much lengthier stay.. so Wednesday (god willing, wednesday) is really earlier than we thought to begin with.

So Jeremy, Evie and I drove in to drop me back to Jack and pick up Grandma.. which Evie was VERY happy about. Jack had a fantastic night and morning with his Grandrea! <3 She was up every 2 hours snuggling and feeding him.. he passed his carseat test and had his chest Xray. And she was there for him for everything. What an unimaginable comfort it was for me knowing he had a loving heart and eyes watching him and warm arms to snuggle him after his testing. I don't know how many times I can say it-- I really don't know what we would do without her. Mom, you are amazing. Your selflessness truly knows no bounds and I am so happy my babies will get to experience the same love we do everyday.

So I'm all unpacked and Jack and I are bunkering down and settling in for snowmaggedon 2015.

Cardiologists said they are going to start him on a medication tonite. They think some of his weight gain is due to fluid starting to collect in his lungs. The medication will make him pee it out and it's something we will continue to give him twice a day at home.

That's it for now. Thinking I may have to venture out for real food tonite, god knows what I will be able to get tomorrow. I think this room just got a little bit smaller.... :( Thanks a lot, Juno.

This is how Jack feels about still being here...

...and here's Evie admiring herself in Jack's window. :)

xo Marissa

A little update.. visitors.. one very happy Grandma. And pictures. :)

Hi All--

I am writing this blog FROM HOME! Right from our couch. Jack is still at Children's. Our beloved Grandrea is on Jack duty tonight and is staying with him so I could come home and spend time with Evie. It's so nice to be home and out of the hospital setting.. but I miss my baby boy. I know he is in very loving, wonderful and capable hands with my mom-- which is the ONLY reason I would ever agree to this. My mom even had homemade chicken soup waiting here for me to enjoy! This woman's love knows no bounds... and Jack is a lucky little guy to have her all night long! I hope he's ready for lots of snuggles and kisses!! Thank you Mom.. for everything you do for us. You are just incredible.

So the doctors continue to marvel at Jack's strength and resilience. His oxygen level and heart rate have been in the ranges they need to be in. He is nursing like a champ, gaining weight and pooping like his daddy. If his rates stay the same and he continues to show them he can eat and that he can poop all that milk out, he will get sprung from Children's THIS WEEK :) :) Thanks to the snow storm approaching, it may snow us in at the hospital until Wednesday, unless by some miracle they discharge him tomorrow-- one of the cardiologist fellows, and quite frankly our favorite out of the 9383943 team members, told us she wasn't sure she was comfortable releasing him before a big snow storm. God forbid he decided to pull a fast one on us and start acting up, we'd be stuck in Peabody. The risk may not be worth it if he is already safe and sound at the hospital now. What's another extra couple nights. Which I understand. As much as I just want to take him home, I can appreciate her concern and would be fine hanging at 8 East until Wednesday.

Today was a big visitor day! Auntie Carole, Uncle Jimi and GG were the first to arrive! Then Jeremy, Grandrea and big sister Evie arrived. Last but not least, Uncle Derek came by.  It was so nice to see everyone and to show off the handsome devil that is Jack Mousseau! :)

While rocking Evie to sleep tonite, she requested multiple times to have pictures of baby Jack for her crib.. which just melted my heart. She loves her brother... and is going to be a pretty amazing big sister.

Tonite, Jack will have his carseat test. He will just spend an hour or 2 in his car seat to make sure he can stand it. Tomorrow, he has a spleen test, hearing test and belly ruben test.. and I believe another chest X-ray (that makes 3 total.. he isn't even a week old.)

It's really difficult to have to watch your baby go through all this. So many tests, needles, people poking and prodding him... I've watched him get pricked by needles in his feet to test his blood and listen to his little baby scream. I've watched a nurse and X-ray technician forcefully have to hold his arms and legs down as he screams and tried to lift his legs back up to his belly and pull his arms back down to where he was comfortable. The nurse and tech looked at me and commented on his strength and how incredible it was for someone his size..

..and his strength is amazing in so many ways. For a little guy who has already been through the ringer in the short time he has had here on earth... and he always comes back to me at peace. He sleeps soundly and happily no matter what they do to him. He is pretty amazing. People always comment on my strength, but really... his strength is what's really awe inspiring.

and now... some pictures! :)

Look at that blonde hair

 My family

What are you thinking about?

Adoring her baby brother!

Thanks for reading!! Will update again tomorrow. 

xo Marissa

Just call me moo-rissa

Today was all about pumping, nursing and pooping. 

He needs to show everyone he can eat and get plump without any breathing issues... So far so good. He gets a little better at nursing with every feed.. So I am feeling pretty confident he can show them he is a lean mean eating machine. 

They also think he looks yellow. I however feel like he looks like he has evies coloring when she was born. So the poor little guy had to get an IV put back in.. Which he was not happy about. His numbers came back normal so no lights for him! His nurse said that's just one more thing to check off the list and we are one step closer to bringing this little love home. 

After his IV, he gave us 2 good looking poops! 

So all in all. A successful day.. With lots of snuggle time!! 

Xo Marissa

A circumcision does nothing for the appetite..

It's been a long, emotion day here... Here are the highlights:

- I was discharged from BWH around 10 am

- jack had his circumcision done. He didn't make a peep and slept through the entire procedure.

- our plan was to snuggle and work on nursing today however the circumcision made him tired and not hungry. They inserted an NG tube down his nose to feed him.. So no nursing all day.. Just pumping which broke my heart into a million pieces

-Jeremy went home to be with my mom and Evie which is both wonderful and not so much so because my teammate is home and I'm here alone... Not alone because I have jack, but alone because he has been my rock.. And I don't feel as strong when he isn't around.

- jack was moved out of the NICU and onto the cardiology floor on 8 east... Which is again wonderful and not so much because it's a step closer to coming home but now I have to leave all the nurses I know and love to meet a whole bunch of new nurses that don't know jack.

-cardiologist came by and were not happy that the tube was put in and gave me the green light to nurse him. It took a few tears and about an hour but he latched like a pro and has had 2 feedings so far.

I'm going to get some sleep before he wakes up hungry.. For the boob and some snuggles ❤️

Keep the prayers and good vibes coming. Your continued support is much needed and appreciated!

Xo Marissa